


Hardship Post

by AlbatrossGJ



Series: #hardshippost [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Epistolary, Humor, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 320
Words: 12,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbatrossGJ/pseuds/AlbatrossGJ
Summary: [#hardshippost is a story I'll be doing in daily epistolary for the duration of the crisis. It's us, but in the future! Stay tuned for more from A. Cen. 4!]
Series: #hardshippost [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683046
Comments: 21
Kudos: 17





	1. 3-30-20

3-30-20

Great timing. Dispatched as envoy to A. Cen. 4 at height of Crown Fever season: doesn't bother Centaurs much, but deadly to humans. So instead of fêtes and soirées, it's quarantine and solitaire. Worse, Centauri's Spring is prettiest for light years!

#hardshippost


	2. 3-31-20

3-31-20

A Lieutenant in the Corps, 3 degrees in Diplomacy, but the closest view I get of the Centaurs is them galloping in the distance. Worse: I've dealt more than 400 hands of Martian Klondike over the past 2 weeks, and I've got the sneaking suspicion I'm cheating…

#hardshippost


	3. 4-01-20

4-1-20

Our Vice-Consul is a very efficient Quartermaster. She has rechecked all of the supplies we were sent seventeen times: 435 cans of peanut butter, 273 frozen space-dinners, 1005 cans of Comet Cola...and two rolls of toilet paper.

Oops.

#hardshippost


	4. 4-02-20

4-2-20

The Junior Attaché was sent to do portraits of Centaur dignitaries -- obviously, that's out while the Crown Plague rages. Luckily, she's keeping herself busy drawing things she sees around the embassy.

It's a mixed blessing.

#hardshippost


	5. 4-3-20

4-3-20

Two of our staff are Felids, here to educate the Centaurs in efficient methods of pest control. They're not affected by Crown Plague so they roam outside at will. But they are quite upset that we won't let them bring Centauri biological samples into the embassy…

#hardshippost


	6. 4-04-20

4-4-20

We may be jealous of the Felids, but we feel sorry for Oreon, our Herpid technician. Most of the time, he's stuck in his own climate-controlled environmental unit. Luckily, he doesn't seem to mind. Reptiles aren't very bright…

#hardshippost


	7. 4-05-20

4-5-20

Thanks to time dilation, cold sleep, and the lack of universal time zones, our embassy calendar has gotten a little bit out of sync with home.

Merry Christmas!

#hardshippost


	8. 4-6-20

4-6-20

Still stuck in isolation. Our foodstocks are sufficient but boring, so the Junior Attaché has begun a garden. For some reason, the soil on Alpha Centauri 4 is particularly fertile.

We now have 15 tons of eggplant.

Any recipe ideas?

#hardshippost


	9. 4-7-20

4-7-20

Isolation got to me; put on a makeshift bio-suit and went for a walk. A Centaur got so excited to see a human, it galloped toward me, bouquets in its mouths.

Ran back into the embassy before it could get within 6 feet. 

Can you relate?

#socialdistance #hardshippost


	10. 4-8-200

4-8-20

Felids are very social creatures, and the two assigned to our embassy are no exception. They are delighted that we are stuck inside and unable to attend diplomatic functions.

A little too delighted.

#cats #hardshippost


	11. 4-9-20

4-9-20

Not only are we isolated thanks to the Crown Plague, but the constant rains are bringing us down.

Note to self: flashlights do not make a good substitute for sunlight…

#tanning #rain #hardshippost


	12. 4-10-20

4-10-20

Since most of the staff at the Terran embassy are stuck inside while the Crown Plague rages on Alpha Centauri 4, I figured a board game might improve morale. Something educational and appropriate. I chose #Diplomacy.

What could go wrong?

#hardshippost #womanyellingatcat


	13. 4-11-20

4-11-20

Crown Plague has been raging for a month, it's been downpouring for a week, Centauri locusts are eating up crops. What else could go wrong?

Oh look. The nearby volcano just erupted.

#hardshippost #krakatoa #covid19


	14. 4-12-20

4-12-20

We're stuck inside the Alpha Centauri 4 embassy because of the Crown Plague, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun. Last night, we organized an impromptu concert for each other.

Note: Felids are better in the audience than on stage.

#hardshippost #yowl #musicfail


	15. 4-13-20

4-13-20

Being trapped inside the embassy means more time for Spring Cleaning. We've gotten a lot of junk tidied….but the clutter may pose more hazard than the Crown Plague!

#hardshippost #timber! #dangerouspiles


	16. 4-14-20

4-14-20

A way to deal with discomfort is to subject yourself to greater discomfort and appreciate the comparison. Today, embassy staff celebrated #Passover using fresh-grated Centauri horseradish as #maror.

Our nostrils may never recover...

#hardshippost #slaveryisbad 


	17. 4-15-20

4-15-20

The rain is gone & it's beautiful again on A. Cen. IV, even stuck inside due to the Crown Plague. We love to gaze at our garden, rich with alien fertilizer, and see…

Uh oh.

Are eggplants supposed to have eyes? And legs?

#hardshippost #horticulturegonewrong


	18. 4-16-20

4-16-20

Some folks from another A. Cen IV trade group came by for a visit! Finally, we get to see other Terrans! Of course, interaction during the Crown Plague isn't as close as we might like…

#hardshippost #socialdistance

  



	19. 4-17-20

4-17-20

Being trapped inside can be a good thing. It's a time of forced contemplation, a chance to reevaluate ourselves and focus on what's most important to us.

We're getting a lot of #fanfiction written…

#hardshippost #silverlining


	20. 4-18-20

4-18-20

We got new supplies at the embassy today! A group of Centaurs were nice enough to drop off a C.A.R.E. package. 

Don't worry -- we decontaminated it in the airlock before we brought it in. Thoroughly.

#hardshippost #killitwithfire #covid19


	21. 4-19-20

4-19-20

It's cloudy and gloomy again, and the lack of Vitamin D is becoming a factor. Not that we could go out anyway, thanks to the Crown Plague.

Note to self: Oreon's UV-B light IS a good substitute for sunlight. A little too good.

#hardshippost #coronavirus #carcinoma


	22. 4-20-20

4-20-20

Since space cars are airtight, I was able to take the Junior Attaché out for a few flying lessons. I can now say with great authority that there is something scarier on this planet than the Crown Plague.

#hardshippost #stickshiftishard #wearegonnadie


	23. 4-21-20

4-21-20 

Crown Plague's got us stuck inside, so the Junior Attaché decided to do interesting things with her hair. The problem is we're stuck inside. Who's going to see it?!

#hardshippost #andnowheretogo


	24. 4-22-20

4-22-20

Part of what makes Felids such wonderful diplomats is their talent for mimicry. They can imitate all sorts of species: pill bugs, Herpids, humans…

#hardshippost #sincerestformofmockery


	25. 4-23-20

4-23-20

After the #Diplomacy debacle, we decided to play something calmer, more family oriented.

Who knew #Scrabble could get so violent?

#hardshippost #notaword


	26. 4-24-20

4-24-20

In quarantine on A. Cen IV for more than a month now; time to check on our reserves. Let's see: 20 cans of PSEUDO-SPAM, a giant head of broccoli, 36 rolls of toilet paper (thanks, Centaur CARE package!), 6 eggplant-babies…

Wait a minute.

#hardshippost #uhoh


	27. 4-25-20

4-25-20

Felids are out roaming. Oreon is asleep. The Vice-Consul took the Junior Attaché for a flight. I'm in the embassy by myself. Finally! Freedom! I can eat anything! Do anything! 

I fell asleep…

#hardshippost #napsareokay


	28. 4-26-20

4-26-20

The Junior Attaché got industrious today, building a trellis for the beans she's planting. Unfortunately, she built it inside the embassy. And it's too big for the door.

I guess we'll be converting one of the rooms into a garden…

#hardshippost #planahead


	29. 4-27-20

4-27-20

Oh no! A little Centaur baby got separated from its parents and wandered to the embassy. I took the little tyke and reunited it with its family, and all was well. Of course, due to the Crown Plague, I had to take a few precautions…

#hardshippost #takingnochances


	30. 4-28-20

4-28-20

The Terran ambassador emeritus visited today! "Grampa" Newman took the Junior Attaché out for a flight to give her a few pointers. It seems he used to be a stunt pilot.

The Junior Attaché is now afraid of heights.

#hardshippost #olddognewtricks


	31. 4-29-20

4-29-20

The alien Centauri fertilizer turned some of our eggplant harvest into eggplant-babies. We don't really mind them so much, but they do make cooking a little more of a challenge…

#hardshippost #anaccidentiswear


	32. 4-30-20

4-30-20

The Centaurs brought cuttings of a local variety of fruit tree to plant in the embassy garden. We're not sure if the word they used translates as orange, lemon, kumquat...or tennis shoe.

At least it's not eggplant.

#hardshippost #welltakeit


	33. 5-01-20

5-1-20

It seems like quarantine will never end. The Crown Plague has got us isolated, lonely, and sad. There's nothing that could possibly cheer us up toda…

IS THAT A BOX OF STASIS-PRESERVED #SUSHI?!?

#hardshipost #nevermind #thelittlethings


	34. 5-02-20

5-2-20

Crown Plague's had us in isolation for seven weeks. We'd seen all the good films in our database. In a fit of desperation, we broke into the lowest tier of our trove of movies. The result:

Geostorm: 1, Us: 0

#hardshippost #notworthit #whyistherumgone 


	35. 05-03-20

5-3-20

We just took the X-Mas tree down. Still haven't quite gotten in rhythm with the calendar on Earth; being in isolation weirds up our sense of time. 

Oh well. Happy Hannukah!!!

#hardshippost #whatmonthisit #alwaysroomforgelt


	36. 5-04-20

5-4-20

Trapped inside the embassy all day long, there's no contact with others, including simple, physical interaction. So it's not just the felids who have gotten extra clingy. There are worse things.

Except they won't let me get up…

#hardshippost #stuckhere #Ihavetogo


	37. 05-05-20

5-5-20

Being stuck inside because of the Crown Plague is tough, but we have lots of modern entertainment to see us through: holo-games, virtual castle crawls, Cards Against Centaurs…

Oh look! My stamp collection!

#hardshippost #oldschool #surprisinglyfun


	38. 05-06-20

5-6-20

Trapped in the embassy on A. Cen. IV for 7 weeks, we've developed unusual coping strategies. The Junior Attaché is trying out living like a Felid. She likes the napping and purring…

But she can't get used to their bathing rituals.

#hardshippost #blech #hairballs


	39. 05-07-20

5-7-20

You know isolation has gone on too long when even a Herpid is desperate for hugs.

Help.

#hardshippost #whoneedstobreathe


	40. 5-08-20

5-8-20

The beaches on A. Cen. IV are beautiful, but since we're trapped in quarantine, we can only dream of going. Luckily, there's a lot you can do with imagination, a tub, and a watering can…

#hardshippost #listentothewaves #justlikebeingthere


	42. 5-09-20

5-9-20

Sometimes, even a walk of a few yards can feel like a many light-year vacation to a resort world.

It turns out the embassy has a neighbor, a trade mission under similar quarantine. And they have a pool.

Way better than a bathtub!

#hardshippost #tikieverywhere


	43. 5-10-20

5-10-20

Crown Plague, you may take our freedom, but you'll never take OUR MOTHER'S DAY!

To all the moms, be they human, Felid, Herpid, or otherwise, this is your day.

#hardshippost #sayitwithhugs


	44. 05-11-20

5-11-20

The Junior Attaché planted beans inside one of the embassy's spare rooms when she couldn't get their lattice out the door. Today, we discovered that beans grow very quickly on A. Cen. 4.

We may need to give them another room…

#hardshippost #growinglikebeans


	45. 05-12-20

5-12-20 

"Grampa" came by for a visit again. Together, we got our holo-set, which had been on the fritz, working again. But it only gets local TV.

Have you SEEN Centauri TV?

I think it goes back in the closet.

#hardshippost #nomoregameshows #wheelofcentaurs


	46. 05-13-20

5-13-20

Went hiking on a supposedly "deserted" trail. It wasn't. Tried to maintain social distancing. Who knew that the Centaurs place such value on hugs?

#hardshippost #sixfeetplase


	47. 05-14-20

5-14-20

Being an ambassador, I'm naturally an extrovert. But since I'm in isolation, my conversational partners are limited. At this point, I'll talk to anyone -- even eggplant babies.

Should I be worried?

#hardshippost #atleasttheylisten

  



	48. 5-15-20

5-15-20

Declared a weekend and spent the day playing games with embassy staff. Our dart gun wars might have gotten a little out of hand. Next time, I think I'll stick with Diplomacy -- it's safer.

#hardshippost #dothesecomeoff


	49. 5-16-20

5-16-20

The neighbors are having a party...which we can't attend! That's okay -- the embassy's throwing it's own dance shindig: the Felids are teaching us the cat-tusi, and Oreon is particularly good at the Ssssslither.

#hardshippost #twistingthenightaway


	50. 5-17-20

5-17-20

Been in quarantine so long, I'm starting to question my sanity. Did the tree outside the embassy just...wave at me? Never mind. It's gone now. Whew!

Waitaminute. Where did it go?

#hardshippost #anyoneelseseethat


	51. 5-18-20

5-18-20

Today was a day off. Digging in the archives, we discovered an ancient type of digital entertainment, a kind of interactive story. They're pretty neat! You can spelunk virtually, even without a light source.

Oh! What's a grue?

#hardshippost #youhavebeeneaten 


	52. 5-19-20

5-19-20

The Junior Attaché is taking advantage of the enforced isolation to take holographic correspondence courses. The flexibility and informality are great, but she needs to remember that the camera's still on...

#hardshippost #pjsarenotappropriateattire


	53. 5-20-20

5-20-20

The eggplant-babies are growing. Not growing-up, just growing. This is proving to be a good self-defense mechanism as they're now too wide for Oreon the Herpid's gullet.

At least we don't have to worry about them being a choking hazard!

#hardshippost #chewyourfood


	54. 5-21-20

5-21-20

An Ambassador Corps doctor came by to give us a check-up. Apparently, they have a test for the Crown Plague now, in case we catch it during a walk outside.

The test involves two nasal swabs. The size of pogo sticks.

We'll just stay inside. 

#hardshippost #nothanks


	55. 5-22-20

5-22-20

Thanks to the growth-promoting environment of A. Cen. IV, the beans in our den are ready for harvest! But we didn't clean the room before planting, so now we have to pick out pieces of furniture from them…

#hardshippost #isthisasofa


	56. 5-23-20

5-23-20

The Junior Attaché is spending her time in quarantine attempting to teach the alien members of the delegation various human greetings. Unfortunately, neither Felids nor Herpids are equipped to "High Five".

#hardshippost #ouch #thosethingsaresharp


	57. 5-24-20

5-24-20

With a menacing lurch, the giant metal beast glared redly at me and stirred. Its stiffened limbs clanked hideously as it rose to its rusted feet. Terrified, I slammed the portal shut and prayed.

Cleaning the embassy garage can WAIT.

#hardshippost #robotholocaust


	58. 5-25-20

5-25-20

Following a tattered map, the lantern turning stalactites into shadowy monsters, we tiptoed through the old mine. There by the wooden rails, we dug..and found a fortune in Spanish gold!

Er, yes, we're still playing text adventures.

#hardshippost #justonemoretreasure


	59. 5-26-20

5-26-20

I mentioned earlier that the trees on A. Cen. IV can walk. Apparently, they also get their hair (or branches anyway) cut because they're all sporting new trims.

Being stuck inside, the embassy staff is not so fortunate.

#hardshippost #afroseverywhere


	60. 5-27-20

5-27-20

Earth sent us a supply of live jumbo-sized GMO hens. Now we can have fresh eggs whenever we want! Oreon the Herpid technician is confused, though, and thinks the eggs are his. At least, we THOUGHT Oreon was a he…

#hardshippost #happymothersday


	61. 5-28-20

5-28-20

Nearly two months in quarantine due to the Crown Plague and we're going stir crazy. Blast the guidelines -- we've got to get out into the fresh air!

We went camping on the porch…

#hardshippost #staycation


	62. 5-29-30

5-29-20

Opportunity! The Junior Attaché has been invited to intern at another embassy (under quarantine, of course). While I am fond of our youngest member of the staff, it'll be good to have her out of my hair...

(I'm not crying. You're crying.)

#hardshippost #whoamIkidding


	63. 5-30-20

5-30-20

The Junior Attaché was excited to begin her internship at the nearby embassy, but she insisted on packing heavy. Now she's run into the Bus Service's two bag limit.

I told her not to bring the giant hens.

#hardshippost #barenecessities


	64. 5-31-20

5-31-20

It dawned on us that, with the Junior Attaché gone to another embassy, the Vice-Consul and I can enjoy a week of quality time alone! Time to break out the Saurian Brandy, the mood music...

Oh right. The Felids and Oreon are still here.

#hardshippost #threesacrowd


	65. 6-01-20

6-01-20

The Junior Attaché was getting starved for company at our embassy, so she was excited to go the one next door where there are new people. It also turns out the Canid delegation is visiting. There are 12 of them.

There can be too much of a good thing…

#hardshippost #dogpile


	66. 6-02-20

6-02-20

Can you believe that after just three days away, the Junior Attaché got homesick? I didn't either until I heard a rapping at the window. It wasn't just the Felids this time…

#hardshippost #hey #cantbreakquarantine!


	67. 6-03-20

6-03-20

Over at the neighboring embassy, the Junior Attaché and her new friend are flirting with the incoming freighter boys. They focus on the cute ones, though it's hard to find them with the masks in the way...

#hardshippost #plaguelove


	68. 6-04-20

6-4-20

When the Junior Attaché went to the neighboring embassy, baggage restrictions meant she had to leave a lot behind, including her jumbo-sized GMO hens from Earth.

Apparently, they found her anyway…

#hardshippost #wakeupcall


	69. 6-5-20

6-5-20

"Grampa" came by and was disappointed the Junior Attaché wasn't here. He went up in his space car to send a message. To her and the entire planet. In sky writing. 

She wasn't thrilled...

#hardshippost #aletterisbetter


	70. 6-6-20

6-6-20

For their last hurrah, the Junior Attaché and her new friend struck out from the neighboring embassy for a long wilderness hike. They figured they could walk a good twenty miles, which they did.

They forgot about the return trip…

#hardshippost #heytaxi


	71. 6-07-20

6-7-20

The Junior Attaché is back! The Junior Attaché is back! Hooray! It's been eight days! I was forgetting what she looked like! It's the best day in the world! Yay!

Ahem.

I mean, cool. Welcome back.

#hardshipost #nobigdeal 


	72. 6-08-20

6-8-20

Out of boredom, we found some ancient clothes patterns and printed out a bunch of vintage fashion to try on for each other. I have to say, fedoras and skinny ties flatter most everyone!

#hardshippost #notjustforboys #notjustforhumans


	73. 6-09-20

6-9-20

We've embarked on a physical fitness program at the embassy! The Felids are really good at yoga. None of us can keep up! Except for Oreon the Herpid, that is. Despite not having any limbs…

#hardshippost #downwardfacingsnake #butnotthecobra


	74. 6-10-20

6-10-20

Remember the eggplant babies? They're still here, and bigger than ever. Given their preferred activity, we now know what to call them now that they're grown up:

Couch potatoes.

Oh well. At least they're good company.

#hardshippost #passthechips


	75. 6-11-20

6-11-20

The beans that took over two rooms at the embassy are ready for harvest! Not only do we get our den back, but we've also got dinner for days. Turns out Centauri-grown beans are..

Well, let's just say we're going to need a bigger plate.

#hardshippost #hohoho #greengiant


	76. 6-12-20

6-12-20

The Junior Attaché decided to get creative and make costumes out of various cloth and equipment. She's made some ingenious outfits! But…

PSA: When dressing as a Plutonian cyborg, please tell your coworkers first.

#hardshippost #moregrayhair


	77. 6-13-20

6-13-20

Diplomacy was a disaster, and Scrabble was even worse. All the peaceful games end up being belligerent! Hmm… how about some reverse psychology?

This week, we're replaying the battle of Waterloo!

#hardshippost #vivelafrance #sofarsogood


	78. 6-14-20

6-14-20

The most interesting part of embassy work is observing alien cultures. For instance, here on Alpha Centauri IV, they have Arbor Day, but it's observed a little differently. They have sentient trees here.

And they set off fireworks!

#hardshippost #independenceday


	79. 6-15-20

6-15-20

We've gotten so bored stuck here in the embassy that we're digging deep into our archives of TWO dimensional media. But now the Junior Attaché has developed a crush on the 20th Century's biggest heartthrob:

Tony Randall.

#hardshippost #whoknew


	80. 6-16-20

6-16-20

We got our second and final indoor jumbo bean harvest! But no sooner had I turned my back, they'd been devoured, not by embassy staff, but by the grown-up eggplant babies (couch potatoes).

Nothing surprises me anymore.

#hardshippost #savesomeformeplease


	81. 6-17-20

6-17-20

The embassy staff has decided to brave the Crown Plague and go to a secluded beach. Let's see: goggles, mask, hood, inner suit, outer suit, decontamination spray…

Well, at least we won't get sunburned!

#hardshippost #nobugbiteseither


	82. 6-18-20

6-18-20

Centauri soil is really weird. Sometimes it gives us room-sized beans. Other times…

I think we're going to need to plant a lot more carrots to make a salad.

#hardshippost #agardenforants


	83. 6-19-20

6-19-20

"We're outnumbered 3 to 1, sir!" 

"Then let no Briton die without taking at least two Frenchmen to hell with him."

"That'll take a lot of luck, sir…"

"Worry not. God is on our side."

God...and the dice.

#hardshippost #waterloo 


	84. 6-20-20

6-20-20

I didn't know why the Junior Attaché took this thankless job, the lowest rung position in the foreign service.

Today, I walked in on her giving an acceptance speech for the Federation Presidency. To a mirror.

You know, she just might make it!

#hardshippost #imwithher


	85. 6-22-20

6-21-20

Looks like the rapid-growing beans wreaked some havoc with the embassy fixtures. One of the airlock doors almost came off its hinges! Luckily, "grampa" came by, and he's a whiz with tools.

Happy Father's Day!

#hardshippost #noreallyhelikesit


	86. 6-22-20

6-22-20

I've mentioned that ours is not the only Terran embassy on A. Cen IV, and that our Felid staff are not vulnerable to the Crown Plague so they roam at will. Other embassies apparently have Felids too.

And ours are NOT happy about it…

#hardshippost #stayout #catfight


	87. 6-23-20

6-23-20

There's not a lot of work to do in a quarantined embassy, so the other day, I sent hyperwaves for penpals, particularly ones who wargame. I figured I'd get a few replies…

So, what are good play-by-space-mail games that seat a hundred?

#hardshippost #megadiplomacy


	88. 6-24-20

6-24-20

It is the future -- we have ships that ply the stars, technology that regrows limbs, thumb-sized archives of all humanity's knowledge...

How is it we still don't have an easy cure for lice?!

#hardshippost #sigh #myheaditches #howdidtheygetinhere


	89. 6-25-20

6-25-20

We're now avid birders, or at least watchers of the things that fly on A. Cen. IV. Those things fight a lot. There are some really big ones, too, but on this planet, ferocity is inversely proportional to mass.

My bet's on the little guy…

#hardshippost #underbird


	90. 6-26-20

6-26-20

The A. Cen. IV embassy is old, dating to the first days of spaceflight. Under the holoplayer, beneath the old computers, we found a truly ancient knowledge medium:

Printed, bound pages of words! Called boots or something like that.

#hardshippost #newfavorite


	91. 6-27-20

6-27-20

The Junior Attaché has shifted to summer hours, and the Vice Consul and I have mornings to ourselves. Today, we thought we might steal away to a remote, unused room in the embassy, where none could find us..

EXCEPT THE FELIDS! HOW?

#hardshippost #beatit #seriously

  



	92. 6-28-20

6-28-20

The embassy staff can't leave quarantine thanks to the Crown Plague, so they've started binging cultural holos produced by foreign nations. It's strictly educational, I'm told…

So why do I hear them crying and yelling at the screen?

#hardshippost #sungkyunkwanscandal


	93. 6-29-20

6-29-20

Felids are excellent embassy staff because they are sociable. The downside is they simply have no boundaries when it comes to anything. Even food.

Especially food.

#hardshippost #mine #no #itsmine #goway

  
  



	94. 6-30-20

6-30-20

It's a week until the next supply ship and we're running low on food at our quarantined embassy. We do have a lot of eggplants we could do something with…

Oh right. Not eggplants. Eggplant babies. 

I'll see if I can find some pasta.

#hardshippost #toocutetoeat


	95. 7-01-20

7-1-20

The exceptionally fertile soil on Alpha Centauri IV doesn't just mean oversized fruit. We planted tomatoes early in the season and…well…

Now we have tomato trees.

And I need to make a lot of spaghetti sauce.

#hardshippost #pleasenotomatobabies


	96. 7-02-20

7-2-20

Another slow day at the embassy, so we spent the time printing clothes again. The Junior Attaché found a huge spool of 20th Century, 1960s fashion and went ape. They looked great, but I must say…

Were skirts really that short?!

#hardshippost #ohmy


	97. 7-03-20

7-3-20

"Grampa" is a big brain hyperspace physicist. He thought there were eggheads at the embassy, so he stopped by to talk shop.

He misheard me. I said "eggplant babies."

I don't know that they're getting much out of his lecture…

#hardshippost #pearlsbeforeeggplant


	98. 7-04-20

7-4-20

Per our embassy calendars, it's the Fourth of July. Since it's traditional to celebrate with skyrockets, we're keeping to that tradition. Except instead of exploding them, we're riding them!

At least, I hope we're not exploding them…

#hardshippost #nofireworks #please


	99. 7-05-20

7-5-20

Embassy exchange! The Junior Attaché has gone to our neighbor to help her friend flirt with the space boys, and two of their staff are coming here for a nice peaceful wargame.

Let's hope our facility is intact when she returns…

#hardshippost #atleastitsnotscrabble


	100. 7-06-20

7-6-20

We've been in the A. Cen. IV embassy so long that the humans were issued new space passports! The Junior Attaché and I look fine, but the Vice Consul's holo...

We don't talk about the Vice Consul's holo

#hardshippost #whathappened 


	101. 7-07-20

7-7-20

There's a plague raging, the embassy is quarantined, work is stacking up, bills are going unpaid. There's an overriding urge to DO something, anything.

Today, I read a book.

#hardshippost #breaktime


	102. 7-08-20

7-8-20

Last week, the humans at the embassy got their passports. Today, the Felid passports arrived. One of the holos is absolutely beautiful; the other looks ridiculously goofy.

I'd say the holo-taker got very accurate renditions!

#hardshippost #artimitateslife


	103. 7-09-20

7-9-20

The Herpid's passport just came in! I'm surprised -- I mean, I know Oreon's a good-looking snake, and he dressed up for the event, but the fur coat's a bit much. And the third eye.

I wonder if there's been a mix-up.

#hardshippost #thenewyou


	104. 7-10-20

7-10-20

Oreon's new passport was a mix-up! This one's not much better--he put on a nice hat, tie, toupee, but the holographer wore cologne and then when they snapped the shot, Oreon was tasting the air.

You can't see his face at all!

#hardshippost #theycallmemrtongue


	105. 7-11-20

7-11-20

We found a secluded pond in the open where we could swim without having to wear protective gear. We didn't get the Crown Plague but Centauri water reacts oddly to Terran biochemistry...

Help! Does purple come off?!

#hardshippost #worsethansunburn


	106. 7-12-20

7-12-20

The swimming hole we found is beautiful but not quite as secluded as we thought. Turns out the Centaurs are building a spaceport next door. There's no risk of contagion but…

IT CAN GET VERY LOUD! SO MUCH FOR PEACE AND QUIET!!!

#hardshippost #WHATDIDYOUSAY


	107. 7-13-20

7-13-20

We got home from the swimming retreat and discovered I had a real problem on my hands. Having purple skin wouldn't be so bad, except now the eggplant babies have taken affection to a new level.

Help.

#hardshippost #eggplantdaddy


	108. 7-14-20

7-14-20 

Tired of war themed games, the Junior Attaché made her own real-time cooperative game (played via holophone) where her friends take on the role of fantastic heroes and heroines.

She calls it Islands and Imps. I wonder if the idea will take off…

#hardshippost #i&i


	109. 7-15-20

7-15-20

Soil on A. Cen. IV is weird, spurring plants to enormous size and production. I suppose it follows that the caterpillars that feed on them would be similarly affected.

I think I'll call this one Lassie. 

#hardshippost #hereboy


	110. 7-16-20

7-16-20

The swimming hole was a bust because of construction, but we found a beautiful secluded beach today and played in the waves! Bonus: Centauri salt water doesn't turn you purple.

Problem: It DOES turn you orange.

#hardshippost #citrusbabies?


	111. 7-17-20

7-17-20

"Grampa" came by! We're both tinkerers so I brought out some equipment to repair. We brought an old holovision back to life, but when we were done, somehow there were about a dozen pieces left over.

Still works, though!

#hardshippost #goodenough


	112. 7-18-20

7-18-20

I suppose it was inevitable. The soil on this planet makes plants grow to enormous size (and intelligence) so consuming them was bound to have unforeseen effects.

We just found Oreon's latest shed skin. He's...grown.

#hardshippost #snakesinanembassy


	113. 7-19-20

7-19-20

The Junior Attaché went to the nearby embassy, and two of their staff came here. Using holo-machines, we made a game where we played aliens colonizing a planet! Score was based on teamwork, accumulated wealth and...

...best costume!

#hardshippost #getamule


	114. 7-20-20

7-20-20

It was time for our staff physical. Apparently, being stuck in an embassy for months makes the joints stiffen up. The traveling Med Service doc took great delight in getting our kinks out…

Ow.

#hardshippost #whobendsthatway


	115. 7-21-20

7-21-20

The Vice Consul's become addicted to an agricultural holo-game called Sundrop Mountain.

This is a problem for all of us: Not only is she neglecting her work, she's hogging all the time on EMBASSIVAC!

#hardshippost #heymyturn


	116. 7-22-20

7-22-20

Being stuck inside all day has gotten us all kinds of homesick, particularly for our favorite spot on Terra, Kaua'i. So we put together a party with music, coconuts, and rum. 

You haven't lived til you've seen Felids do the hula…

#hardshippost #alohaoe


	117. 7-23-20

7-23-20

Quarantine life makes one creative! We're holding our own little fan con in the embassy: A costume contest, viewings of fannish films, even a little exhibit hall!

Of course, we KNEW the Junior Attaché would set up a commissions booth…

#hardshippost #farfromcon2020


	118. 7-24-20

7-24-20

Horticulture note #23: The soil on Alpha Centauri IV is extremely rich. This results in large tomato bushes with high yields.

And it also produces small bushes. Each with a tomato. One. Giant. Tomato.

#hardshippost #whoneedsapumpkin


	119. 7-25-20

7-25-20

Even at an embassy under quarantine, we have to attend seminars to maintain our certifications. Of course, they all have to be virtual, and they're even duller by holo than in person. The good news?

We can turn the camera off and catch up on our sleep! 

#hardshippost #donttellanyone


	120. 7-26-20

7-26-20

Our impromptu convention lasted five days and was capped by a performance by the Junior Attaché. I didn't think she could manage a concert combining costume, guitar, ink sketch, dance, and ukelele…

But she did!

#hardshippost #talent


	121. 7-27-20

7-27-20

Oreon has gotten too big, so we've synthesized a formula that should shrink him. He doesn't want to be normal-sized again, though, so he's given us a merry chase.

But he can't go outside, and there aren't many places a two-ton snake can hide.

#hardshippost #deadend


	122. 7-28-20

7-28-20

The Junior Attaché has run out of paper with which to document our daily activities. I thought this might slow her down, but she's found alternate media on which to draw…

What will happen when she runs out of cardboard?

#hardshippost #necessity


	123. 7-29-20

7-29-20

The Junior Attaché borrowed the Vice Consul's special chair for use upstairs. This wouldn't normally be a problem as the Vice Consul uses a standing desk. But sometimes she has to sit down.

And she didn't know the chair had been removed…

#hardshippost #plop


	124. 7-30-20

7-30-20

Today was our turn to present during the holographic seminar sessions. It meant we had to dress up rather than wear our usual casual attire.

But, inspired by the Felids, we drew the line at shoes. No one can see our feet anyway.

#hardshippost #thingsgottabreathe


	125. 7-31-20

7-31-20

They're giving awards for best embassy today! Winner gets a million credits! Watching the ceremony via holophone...they're about to announce…I can't look...

Oh. We got sixth place.

Prize: A year's worth of toothpicks.

#hardshippost #ohwell #honorjusttobenominated


	126. 8-01-20

8-1-20

Oreon resisted ingesting the shrink formula until we dunked it in eau de rodent; then he ate a double dose. Now he's shrunk to terrestrial snake size.

Upside: his room is smaller. Downside: the Felids are licking their chops.

#hardshippost #donteatyourcoworkers


	127. 8-02-20

8-2-20

Been a stressful week, so we brought out our cooperative/competitive colonization holo-game. Just the thing for a nice calm aftern…hey! Why would someone program pirates into the simulation?!?

So much for relaxation...

#hardshippost #whyisthecrystitegone


	128. 8-3-20

8-3-20

Our brave Vice Consul donated blood to helpTerrans afflicted with the Crown Plague (and other disorders). It was supposed to be a pint, but I think they took more.

If the loop-de-loop she did on her way home is any indication…

#hardshippost #nodrunkimnotofficer


	129. 8-04-20

8-4-20 

A friend from the neighboring base is staying over. Their facility is much smaller than ours, and she's been in quarantine so long, she has agoraphobia.

Which explains why she prefers to sleep in a box.

#hardshippost #makeyourselfcomfortable


	130. 8-5-20

8-5-20

Not all of the embassy staff are vulnerable to the Crown Plague: the two Felids have been able to conduct minor business outside. Unfortunately, one of them seems to have mixed in too much pleasure.

Two nights, and she still hasn't come back!

#hardshippost #partycat


	131. 8-06-20

8-6-20

Our guest spent the whole day sleeping. Either she's exhausted from her work at the other embassy, or she's actually awake and just hoping a prince stops by and kisses her out of her enchanted slumber…

#hardshippost #sleepingbeauty


	132. 8-07-20

8-7-20

Remember the Centaur baby we rescued a while back? It remembers us! We went to the beach, maintaining social distance for safety -- but the tyke didn't understand about the Crown Plague.

It couldn't understand why we kept running away...

#hardshippost #dodgethebaby


	133. 8-08-20

8-8-20

The Junior Attaché has decided to make good use of quarantine time by learning to sew. She started small with one of the buttons on my shirt. She stitched it on good and tight!

But not to the place it had fallen from…

#hardshippost #decorativebackbuttons


	134. 8-9-20

8-9-20

Talking about wargames has made me want to play Diplomacy again. I'm not worried about betrayal permanently damaging any friendships this time: I've made armor for everyone to wear.

It covers their backs.

#hardshippost #playprotected


	135. 8-10-20

8-10-20

The Junior Attaché is a polyglot. Having already learned Centauri, she is now trying Japanese. However, the first step is understanding that correct Kanji is not just a matter of random assembly of radicals.

#hardshippost #meanspuppydog


	136. 8-11-20

8-11-20

We tried our luck at the beach today. Sadly, though we were fully equipped for outdoor travel, we ran into visiting Terrans who didn't know or care about the Crown Plague and huffed without masks as they exercised.

We didn't stay very long…

#hardshippost #somepeople


	137. 8-12-20

8-12-20

When we found Lassie, the giant Centauri caterpillar, he was still pretty young. He hasn't gotten much bigger, but he's sprouted a sleek coat of fur. I have to admit, he is pretty darned cute.

We've decided to change his name to Fluffy.

#hardshippost #thecutestbug


	138. 8-13-20

8-13-20

Oreon is slowly growing back to his original size. He's taking it all very calmly, but he's getting a little disconcerted now that Fluffy is making eyes at him…

#hardshippost #snakesofafeather


	139. 8-14-20

8-14-20

The best thing about when "grampa" visits is he helps us repair malfunctioning equipment. It's Summer here on Alpha Centauri IV, and he fixed our air conditioner.

A little too well. Oreon's frozen solid.

#hardshippost #getanicepick


	140. 8-15-20

8-15-20

We dug into our historical sims and found one modeling a battle that took place not far from the Waterloo game we played before. It looks like fun...but I don't know how I feel about leading the bad guys in gray uniforms…

#hardshippost #playingtolose


	141. 8-16-20

8-16-20

The Junior Attaché went next door so she and her friend could flirt with the merchant boys. Since they had to wear masks, the girls tried to attract them, like birds, with their dance moves.

Her friend dislocated her knee.

#hardshippost #canistillgetyournumber


	142. 8-17-20

8-17-20

The Junior Attaché was feeling homesick so she went on a grand tour of Earth: Mexico, Japan, the United States…

Well, a tour of their cuisine, anyway. They say eating there is half the fun!

#hardshippost #letyourtastebudsdothewalking


	143. 8-18-20

8-18-20

We noticed that the Junior Attaché's pictures seemed to be on sheets of white paper again. We were delighted -- until we realized what she was really drawing on, remembering that her room's walls are painted white...

#hardshippost #redecorating


	144. 8-19-20

8-19-20

It's getting pretty hot here now that it's Summer. It's hitting the crops pretty hard. Of course, on Alpha Centauri IV, that just means the trees come inside where it's air conditioned.

This planet is weird.

#hardshippost #gotanycoldones


	145. 8-20-20

8-20

I haven't had access to a barber while in quarantine and my hair is getting long. The Junior Attaché likes to mess it up and make it poofy, but now the mobile trees are giving me the eye and it's scaring me…

#hardshippost #justfriendsplease


	146. 8-21-20

8-21

We've been in quarantine so long that not only does hardly anyone attend my impromptu lectures, but I'm not even sure that I mind.

#hardshippost #talkingtomyself #qualitynotquantity


	147. 8-22-20

8-22

There was a holophone speed-artistry contest, in which all of the Alpha Centauri IV embassies were invited to participate. Of course, the Junior Attaché had to join in.

She finished in the Top Five!

#hardshippost #quickdrawLorelei


	148. 8-23-20

8-23

We went to the secluded beach again, pumped full of anti-purple, and got to go surfing! I understand you're supposed to ride the waves, but somehow the Junior Attaché ended up riding me!

#hardshippost #callmetrigger


	149. 8-24-20

8-24

The embassy now has multiple concurrent wargames going on. On the one hand, it's heaps of fun. On the other, with World War One in one room and World War Two in the other, I'm getting temporal whiplash.

#hardshippost #unstuckintime


	150. 8-25-20

8-25

Our missing Felid still hasn't turned up, but we keep finding hopeful traces: a tuna can here, an empty jar of catnip there. She's clearly having the time of her life, wherever she may be…

#hardshippost #catoutofthebag


	151. 8-26-20

8-26

Oreon and the eggplant babies were playing football in the study today. Looked like fun, but then I remembered that we don't have a football. Then I also remembered that I hadn't seen Fluffy around lately…

#hardshippost #cocoonball #hesokayfolks


	152. 8-27-20

8-27

We made it back to the beach, today. The confluence of A. Cen. 4's moons made the tides and waves chaotic, and my riderboard broke in half! Luckily, a giant kelp rescued me and took me to shore.

This planet is weird…

#hardshippost #buttheplantsarenice


	153. 8-28-20

8-28

I know some of you were worried about Fluffy, but don't worry. We put him in the Consular Suite so no one could get to him. I have to say, though -- the weird noises coming from the cocoon are disturbing.

Just what is he going to turn into?

#harshippost #Mothra?


	154. 8-29-20

8-29

"Grampa" came over today, so I cooked dinner. I'm a decent chef, but I've learned the secret to ensuring guests love my cooking:

Make them wait a few extra hours before the meal…

#hardshippost #thealpomethod


	155. 8-30-20

8-30

The embassy was overrun by people with guns! Room to room fighting; beams blasting from every corner; dust flying as we ran for our lives…

Our base defense training sure is realistic!!

#hardshippost #warisswell


	156. 8-31-20

8-31

After the passport debacle, we were absolutely certain that our embassy yearbook holos would be absolutely perfect. The Junior Attaché may have overdone it on the glow cosmetics, though…

#hardshippost #wheresthecamera


	157. 9-01-20

9-1

Today was electronics maintenance day where we patched and recircuited our ailing equipment. Note: it is very important to distinguish between a 50W soldering iron and a 1000W soldering iron.

#hardshippost #somethingisburning


	158. 9-2-20

9-2

I went inside the Consular Suite and had a shock: Fluffy's cocoon lay on the bed, an open and empty shell. But there was no sign of the giant caterpillar. And then I looked up…

#hardshippost #heeeeelpmeeeeee


	159. 9-3-20

9-3

In awe, I beheld what remained of our ceiling, breached by a force of titanic strength. Beyond, I could see the night sky, slightly glowing with our anti-germ barrier.

The hole's outline bore no resemblance to the caterpillar that was.

#hardshippost #flybutterfly


	160. 9-04-20

9-4

Our Felid ambassador still retains the hunting instincts of her distant ancestors. This is normally not a problem, but it turns out that the mascot of the local Centauri town looks just like an Earth rabbit.

And now he's on our doorstep.

#hardshippost #puthimback


	161. 9-5-20

9-5 

Today is my big chance to do a hyperwave presentation to the assembled embassies of this sector! Wait -- the holo's on the fritz… why is my hand coming out of…why is my face upside down... why is my BUTT...?!

#hardshippost #technicaldifficulties


	162. 9-6-20

9-6

We found a way to overcome Crown Plague and resume emissary operations! We've built a robot that can do everything we can and more to interact with the Centaurs.

We might have picked a less threatening shape, though…

#hardshippost #klaatubaradanikto 


	163. 9-07-20

9-7

Oh no! Our telescope data indicate that a massive object is on an intercept course with Alpha Centauri IV! We're all doomed, unless we build a rocket ark in time to...

Oh wait -- it's just ex-Fluffy sitting on the lens.

#hardshippost #whenmothscollide


	164. 9-08-20

9-8

Our flight from Earth took nearly a year at relativistic speeds. We've been on A. Cen IV for six months.

And only NOW does the Junior Attaché discover she's got library books from back home.

Very overdue books.

#hardshippost #whatstheworstthatcouldhappen


	165. 9-09-20

9-9

Anshi the Felid just reported that there are two thuggish Terrans outside the embassy in space suits. They look suspicious and angry. Oh no! Have they come for the overdue books?!

#hardshippost #wrathofthelibrarian


	166. 9-10-20

9-10

Knock knock knock. An insistent pounding. I looked at the Vice Consul. She looked at the Junior Attaché. The Junior Attaché clutched the overdue books. I reached for the door, the other hand on my stunner...

#hardshippost #frommycolddeadfingers


	167. 9-11-20

9-11

Venting the airlock, I opened the outer door and let the two thug-looking men in. One reached into their suit's chest pocket and pulled out...I tensed…

A badge?

"Folks, have you seen this Felid?"

It was a picture of our missing staffer!

#hardshippost #tobecontinued


	168. 9-12-20

9-12

Apparently, Minty the Felid has used her immunity to Crown Plague to become the biggest crime queenpin in this part of A. Cen. IV. Imagine -- our staffer a modern day Dutch Schultz!

I'm not sure whether to be aghast or proud…

#hardshippost #definitelyaghast #right?


	169. 9-13-20

9-13

We were able to have visitors again! (other quarantined Terrans). Unfortunately, we have found something more dangerous than the Crown Plague:

My flailing hands when we play Marco Polo and I'm it…

#hardshippost #watchout #ohno


	170. 9-14-20

9-14-20

Oreon was feeling homesick, so he redecorated his quarters from the stock furnishings to look more like his home on Sirius V. 

Apparently, dirt and woodchips are very popular on Sirius V…

#hardshippost #butisitart?


	171. 9-15-20

9-15-20

The Junior Attaché is baking a cake for her friend in the neighboring embassy. A lemon chocolate cake. My favorite.

Me: (makes puppy dog eyes) (for twelve hours)

The Junior Attaché is baking two cakes…

#hardshippost #workseverytime


	172. 9-16-20

9-16-20

Oh no! Our neighboring embassy has a suspected case of Crown Plague and has been completely quarantined. We thought our isolating measures were stringent already, but theirs are...comprehensive. The giant padlock was a nice touch.

#hardshippost #wheredidtheygo


	173. 9-17-20

9-17-20

The Junior Attaché has learned the value of mulch. It's great for the garden, recycles food waste, and it makes the ground look uniform.

It does not, however, need to be spread all over the den.

We are NOT growing beans inside again!

#hardshippost #whatdidIstepin


	174. 9-18-20

9-18-20

Surfer Nate came in on a red eye spaceship, today! The Junior Attaché is excited to learn how to ride the waves. But with Crown Plague isolation protocols, they have to settle for holo sims.

And us splashing them with water.

#hardshippost #justlikebeingthere


	175. 9-19-20

9-19-20

Now that Minty the Felid's gone to be a local crime lord on A. Cen. IV, we've built a robotic replacement. It's pretty handy, and it makes good coffee, but its design could be a bit more graceful…

#hardshippost #blobbytherobot


	176. 9-20-20

9-20-20

The Junior Attaché went down to the embassy next-over to kibbitz with other interns. They had fun playing hide and seek on the grounds...until they got too close to their neighbors, who thought they were being attacked!

#hardshippost #wecomeinpeace!


	177. 9-21-20

9-21-20

Today, the Junior Attaché was to get her Skimmer license. Turns out she was given the certification for 2-headed aliens, not single heads, and we have to get new forms.

She may have slashed the turbofans on a few cars on the way out…

#hardshippost #everybodyhurts


	178. 9-22-20

9-22-20

An election is coming for the Centauri Representative for Terran Affairs. One candidate supports cooperation and mutual aid in dealing with the Crown Plague. The other says Crown Plague doesn't exist.

Guess who we're supporting?

#hardshippost #thenotdyingparty


	179. 9-24-20

9-24-20

The Vice Consul's prowess at Scrabble means no one here will play with her, so she's now playing against others via holo. And some of them are BETTER than her.

It's probably safer for them that they aren't here in the embassy…

#hardshippost #scrabblerage


	180. 9-25-20

9-25-20

An Albino Avid from Procyon visited today. A beautiful being, and such a lovely singing voice! However, a little too late, we learned of an innate hostility between Avids and Felids…

#hardshippost #likecatsandbirds


	181. 9-26-20

9-26-20

Andi, the interstellar journalist, came by for a visit. She told us about the situation on old Earth: fires, riots, an impending civil war, their own plague…

Suddenly, being stuck inside our nice embassy doesn't seem so bad!

#hardshippost #ignoranceisbliss


	182. 9-27-20

9-27-20

We apparently lost some gear when we went into the ocean today. After we got back there was a knock on the door, our stuff was on the step and...something was shuffling off, leaving a trail of water.

#hardshippost #theoldones


	183. 9-28-20

9-28-20

Our Dispoz-All unit went on the fritz and we had no way to break down our supply cans. 

Until we figured out that we could crush them the old fashioned way -- with our boots!

It was great stress relief.

#hardshippost #takeTHAT #Ccccrush


	184. 9-29-20

9-29

The two candidates for Centauri Terran representative had their first debate. I'm sure the challenger had some excellent points to make -- but I couldn't hear him over the incessant interruptions of the incumbent.

#hardshippost #pleaseshutup


	185. 9-30-20

9-30-20

Another hot day on A. Cen. IV, so we hit the beach. The water was warm, the air invigorating, the surf clear…

The waves eighteen feet high.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

#hardshippost #sandcastlesarefuntoo


	186. 10-01-20

10-01

Being isolated in an embassy for months on end can be tough. One nearby base decided "to heck with it," lowered their shields, and threw away their protective gear.

Just read a Want Ad for a new emissary for that consulate…

#hardshippost #crownplagueisreal


	187. 10-02-20

10-02

The Junior Attaché is participating in a planetwide drawing challenge: she and fellow artists are making a new composition every day for a month.

But given her preexisting illustrating obligations, she may have taken on too much.

#hardshippost #inktauri


	188. 10-03-20

10-03

The Junior Attaché has decided to bake a giant birthday cake for her friend's birthday. I thought it was big going INTO the oven. Then it started to rise.

We're taking refuge in the airlock…

#hardshippost #lovelylightlusciousdelectable #bewarethecake


	189. 10-04-20

10-04-20

The teens at the various local embassies got together for a quarantine birthday party. The birthday girl got a number of presents, the most unique being 250 sugar cubes. Which she immediately ate.

There was no sleeping that night…

#hardshippost #dubiouschoices


	190. 10-05-20

10-05-20

At long last, despite endless delays caused by the Crown Plague, the Junior Attaché has obtained her skimmer license! She can now drive on her own, free to zoom through the skies.

I'm not sure whether to be proud or terrified…

#harshippost #55saveslives!


	191. 10-06-20

10-06-20

The Junior Attaché spent most of the day in virtual correspondence classes. For various reasons, however, they weren't very challenging or engaging.

But I must say, her newly painted nails are gorgeous!

#hardshippost #gooduseoftime


	192. 10-07-20

10-07-20

We found a treasure trove of old 2D holo tapes. Some have great musical performances on them. The Junior Attaché has learned so many "new" dances: The twist, the frug, the swim…

The "Lurch"?!

#hardshippost #petite #capital 


	193. 10-08-20

10-08-20

Halloween, the Vice Consul's favorite holiday, is coming soon (by our calendar)! She ordered a pumpkin from Earth and set it outside with intent to carve.

But this morning, it was gone. It can't have walked off by itself, could it?

#hardshippost #pumpkinrobbers?


	194. 10-09-20

10-09-20

Our Felid staffer is immune to Crown Plague and can go outside without a space suit. On the other hand, it turns out that the Centauri 'siteworm really digs the Felid digestive tract.

Which is just as gross as it sounds.

#harshippost #youmightwanttogetthatcheckedout


	195. 10-10-20

10-10-20

Nature has started to grow up around our quiet embassy. We now have the Centauri equivalent of doves nesting all over. Pretty things, but their inane hoots drive the Junior Attaché crazy.

We've had to lock the armory doors..

#hardshippost #putthegundown #birdofpeace?


	196. 10-11-20

10-11-20

Because of the Crown Plague, trick or treating is out. So the Junior Attaché took "Boo Boxes" and delivered them to the steps of the neighboring embassies.

I think they'd have liked them much more but for the rocket-mounted ghouls…

#hardshippost #lookout! 


	197. 10-12-20

10-12-20

Our pumpkin is back! We checked outside the airlock, and there it was like it had never disappeared. It has some nifty carved features, too, only…

I don't remember getting a chance to carve it…

#hardshippost #whodunnit?


	198. 10-13-20

10-13-20

We've gotten ourselves into a Halloween Cold War! Someone left an enormous Boo Box on the step of our airlock. I have no idea how I'm going to eat two tons of candy corn…

But I'm going to try.

#hardshippost #challengeaccepted


	199. 10-14-20

10-14-20

We went to the beach again today. This time we had the courage to go out beyond the breakers, but we were not prepared for what we saw.

Centauri waves are powered by Krellian wave generators!

#hardshippost #wavetastic #glubglub 


	200. 10-15-20

10-15-20

Home cooking gets old after a while, so we ordered Centauri delivery. A. Cen IV cuisine is a bit like Mexican food -- just more spicy.

A lot more spicy.

#hardshippost #wheresmytongue?


	201. 10-16-20

10-16-20

Anshi, our Felid staffer, found a particularly pleasant smelling spot on the second floor. So she started rubbing her nose against it. Vigorously.

Our first floor ceiling now has a window…

#hardshippost #hardnosed 


	202. 10-17-20

10-17-20

Finally, a day off! Of course we rushed off to go swimming, even though winter is coming. Since tides are (artificially) high, we opted for the local lake. 

We forgot that small bodies of water freeze faster than large ones…

#hardshipost #shouldthatbeblue?


	203. 10-19-20

10-19-20

Wait a minute. It's the NINETEENTH?

Nobody told us the Centauri calendar has a Leap Day!

#hardshippost #whatyearisit?!?


	204. 10-20-20

10-20-20

The eggplant babies were eating too many snacks out of our pantry so we locked the cupboards. But then today, we forgot to feed them.

Have you ever seen a purple riot?

#hardshippost #eatfreeordie #isitgettinghotinhere?


	205. 10-21-20

10-21-20

Our butternut squash harvest has come in! Like everything else from the garden, it's hugely oversized. This is a good thing: not only have we solved the eggplant baby food crisis, but…

They now have new living quarters.

#hardshippost #lowrenthousing


	206. 10-22-20

10-22-20

With the food crisis resolved, we all sat down to a lovely team meal. Me, the Vice Consul, the Junior Attaché, Anshi the Felid, Eggplant Karl Marx, the pumpkin-head guy…

Wait a minute. Pumpkin-head guy?!

#hardshippost #uninvitedguest


	207. 10-23-20

10-23-20

The Vice Consul normally conducts herself with dignity and reserve. But once a week she meets up with her friends via holo to watch her favorite show starring some very attractive actors...and dignity goes out the window.

#hardshippost #wherearemyearplugs


	208. 10-24-20

10-24-20

Because we're in quarantine, none of us have been able to get our hair cut for eight months. I don't mind how it looks, but hair is getting into the food reconstituters.

This morning, I had a shaggy bowl of rice…

#hardshippost #ahairysituation


	209. 10-25-20

10-25-20

I was startled to find 10 foot tall frozen synthetic mice in our latest shipment from home until I remembered it was time for Oreon the Herpid's annual feeding.

How does he fit that in there?

#hardshippost #sayahhh


	210. 10-26-20

10-26-20

I put several official dispatches in the pneumatic mail tube before realizing I'd forgotten to put postage on them! Waiting for two hours in a lawn chair with a book for the courier would have been fine…

Without the spacesuit.

#hardshippost #chafing


	211. 10-27-20

10-27-20

You know how cats always get most attached to the fellow with cat allergies? All of the local Centauri doves, who the Junior Attaché hates with a passion, have decided they love her with all of their heart.

#hardshippost #irony


	212. 10-28-20

10-28-20

Today we sat down to a nice breakfast. We didn't think much of it when one of the strawberries flew off of the Junior Attaché's toast, but when they all then fled in a rush, we were somewhat taken aback.

Alpha Centauri IV is weird…

#hardshippost #vegetariansbeware


	213. 10-29-20

10-29-20

Not only is the embassy getting decorated for Halloween, but the eggplant babies are gussying up their hollowed out giant squash. Their decorations are a bit different though.

Who knew eggplant skins could be so horrifying?

#hardshippost #brrrrr


	214. 10-30-20

10-30-30

The Junior Attaché is conducting thermodynamic experiments in the autoclave using semifluid sugar cylinders. Unfortunately, she forgot to correct for A. Cen IV's lower gravity and…

We're still picking marshmallow out of the oven.

#hardshippost #stickysituation


	215. 10-31-20

10-31-20

To all of you enduring a #hardshipost with us, the embassy of Alpha Centauri IV wishes you a…

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!


	216. 11-01-20

11-01-20

Halloween is done, and we're still cleaning up. Amidst the plastic bones and eggplant skins we found our pumpkin, faceless and bodiless, just an ordinary pumpkin.

Was Pumpkinhead all a dream?!

#hardshippost #andnowmrserling


	217. 11-02-20

11-02-20

Tuning into Terran radio, the first song I heard gave me a rude surprise. Look, I know our calendars are all messed up, but I am confident that Christmas does not begin the day after Halloween on ANY planet.

#hardshippost #frostythesnowman?!


	218. 11-06-20

11-06-20

Sorry for our absence! We have been glued to our hyperwave holo, monitoring the Terran election results for the past week. Time dilation over stellar distances has made things seem to take fooorrreeevveerrr.

It's not just us, is it?

#hardship #anydaynow


	219. 11-07-20

11-07-20

The election results are in! Zorg the Merciless has failed in his bid for reelection, to be succeeded by Jome the Mild. It's a day for jubilant celebration…

...only everyone fell asleep waiting on the outcome.

#hardshippost #goodnewstomorrow


	220. 11-08-20

11-8-20

We were visited by a tax auditor from Terra today. He was certain that our bountiful embassy-cum-menagerie must owe a huge sum to the government. 

He lost all interest in taxes when he met the Junior Attaché, however…

#hardshippost #lorenzo #mariette


	221. 11-9-20

11-9-20

It's so cold that we had to turn on the embassy heaters. Only they didn't seem to be working at all. Then we found out why: our Felid staffer had sprawled her entire body over the radiator -- which is why it smelled like burnt cat hair...

#hardshippost #allmine


	222. 11-10-20

11-10-20

So, when they grow from the ground up, they're stalagmites, and from the ceiling down, stalactites. What do you call them icicles hanging from your nose?!

Yes. It's very cold right now.

#hardshippost #boogmites #snerk


	223. 11-11-20

11-11-20

For the visiting alien delegation, our Junior Attaché made a presentation on the most famous Armstrong in history, the goodwill ambassador for all humanity, truly out of this world. 

I am, of course, referring to the great Satchmo.

#hardshippost #hellocentauri


	224. 11-12-20

11-12-20

We got one of those instant-develop holo cameras! Your likeness reproduced in just 30 seconds. Unfortunately, 3D fast-film is very expensive…

...and we haven't quite figured out the focus function.

#hardshippost #ilookbetterblurry


	225. 11-13-20

11-13-20

The Junior Attaché has been hard at work in the garden, uprooting last season's spent crops and preparing the soil for new seeds.

Only, the prior tenants aren't happy about the disturbance…

#hardshippost #dontmesswiththetomatoes


	226. 11-14-20

11-14-20

Grampa showed up just in time to avert a massacre in the garden with his keen negotiation skills: a bucket of fertilizer for a bucket of tomatoes -- and no more threatening to dig them up!

#hardshippost #abargainsabargain #anytomatoyoucanwalkawayfrom


	227. 11-15-20

11-15-20

The Vice Consul has prepared an enormous batch of soup to last us all winter. The problem is finding where to store it. I admire her ingenuity, but it's unsettling where I keep finding containers….

#hardshippost #pantriesnotbeds


	228. 11-16-20

11-16-20

The Junior Attaché has a talent for computers and can now activate electronics with just her voice. Unfortunately, the voice recognition programs aren't very good...

It interpreted "Turn on the Lights" as "Burn all the rice"

#hardshippost #whatsthatsmell


	229. 11-17-20

11-17-20

Worried that the Junior Attaché was overworking herself to exhaustion, Oreon put together an instant cloning machine so that she could split the chores with herself.

I'm certain this will end well.

#hardshippost #doubletrouble


	230. 11-18-20

11-18-20

With Minty gone to rule the Centauri underworld, Anshy has become a lot more lovey-dovey. Unfortunately, Felids display their affection through vigorous head butting.

I found the Vice Consul unconscious on the floor with a growing lump.

#hardshippost #catorgoat?


	231. 11-19-20

11-19-20

Operation: Clone Myself is going swimmingly! With twice the number of Junior Attachés, their chores are getting done in half the time, leaving more of the day for leisure.

Unforseen problem: two Attachés, one bathroom…

#hardshippost #hurryup!


	232. 11-20-20

11-20-20

One of the problems with having two Junior Attachés around is they eat twice as much. We're already starting to run out of supplies and are having to get creative with what's left…

#hardshippost #peanutbutterstew


	233. 11-21-20

11-21-20

Tonight was embassy movie night, and as a break in routine, we decided to turn the film into a drinking game.

I'm not so sure it was a good idea. One of the Junior Attachés is still cleaning up…

#hardshippost #whathappenedtotheceiling


	234. 11-22-20

11-22-20

We recorded a beautiful dance routine the Junior Attaché performed for us today. Unfortunately, the embassy is pretty small, and it's surprisingly easy to clip a bookshelf during a pirouette.

The shelves are fine. She's been better.

#hardshippost #heavyreading


	235. 11-23-20

11-23-20

Our Felid staffer is a great companion, an excellent speaker, and a diligent worker. But like the rest of her people, she has no concept of private property.

I want my seat back!

#hardshippost #IwasJUSTsittingthere


	236. 11-24-20

11-24-20

We've noticed an odd trait of our Felid staffer; while terrestrial cats get bigger and fluffier in the winter, Anshy seems to be *shrinking*, perhaps in reaction to the Centauri atmosphere.

Oreon is having trouble hiding his amusement

#hardshippost #thatwasmeonce


	237. 11-25-20

11-25-20

Today, we took a much-needed day off and made a (fully precautioned) trip to the beach. Away from the plague and the overly friendly Centaurs, with a book and a picnic lunch of sushi...sometimes, everything is just fine.

#hardshippost #notreallyahardship


	238. 11-26-20

11-26-20

We thought a trip to the beach with a picnic lunch of sushi would be relaxing...but then the Centauri seagulls arrived, and they weren't about to be deterred by an enviro bubble and a few shouts.

#hardshippost #yoursushioryourlife


	239. 11-27-20

11-27-20

In honor of the Terran custom of Thanksgiving, we have grown a giant turkey-shaped hunk of synthmeat and stuck it in a marination chamber. The only problem is keeping it cool: it's about the same size as the fridge!

#hardshippost #everythingmustgo


	240. 11-28-20

11-28-20

The combination of our special coffee/syrup brine and the Centauri atmosphere caused our already giant Thanksgiving synthaturkey to double in size when we took it out of the fridge!

Luckily, Grampa arrived prepared...

#hardshippost #whatchainsawsarefor


	241. 11-29-20

11-29-20

We are figuring out how to have friends over even as the Crown Plague resurges in strength. We've found you can have an unsuited tea in the garden -- so long as the wind doesn't bowl over your bubbles…

#hardshippost #rollinrollinrollin


	242. 12-01-20

12-01-20

The new semester has started for the Junior Attaché. Now that there are two of them, they've split up the class time between them. I don't think Junior Attaché #1 is happy with the division of labor, though.

#hardshippost #textbooksnotcomics


	243. 12-02-20

12-02-20

To break the monotony of school and work, the embassy staff have put together an dance and acrobatic number. It started okay, but now the Felid's stuck on the ceiling and she can't get down…

#hardshippost #thatsshowbiz


	244. 12-03-20

12-03-20

Savage, gale-force winds are blasting the region so hard that even the trees are asking to be let in the embassy. Their disheveled higgley piggledy foliage reminds me of something. Can't put my finger on it.

#hardshippost #SantaAnahair


	245. 12-04-20

12-04-20

The Vice Consul's sister visited the embassy today. During her short stay, she directed three projects, dictated 13 letters, and punched 530 IBM program cards.

She might be a workaholic…

#hardshippost #thisISrelaxing


	246. 12-05-20

12-05-20

We were able to wish a happy birthday to the Junior Attaché's Fairy Godmother thanks to the miracle of holo technology. We even got to see everyone's cute children! Of course, the camera angles were not always the most flattering.

#hardshippost #nostrilcam


	247. 12-06-20

12-06-20

One of my best friends, who I knew in Diplomat School, came by for a visit. He hadn't had time to quarantine properly, so we chatted in the garden a safe distance apart. The only issue is he's hard of hearing. 

My throat is hoarse.

#hardshippost #WHATYOUSAY?!


	248. 12-07-20

12-07-20

It's been a strange week: the Christmas tree was dressed, my address to the Terran council seems to have written itself, and the Vice Consul is unusually happy.

Perhaps it's my new assistant, Dudley.

Now where did he go?

#hardshippost #theconsulswife


	249. 12-09-20

12-09-20

We spent the day doing a hyperwave telethon to raise money for Heifer Interstellar! If you missed it, you can still help out:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/831638560

#hardshippost #giveacowforchristmas


	250. 12-10-20

12-10-20

According to our calendars, it's the first night of Hanukkah, celebrating victory against the savage Cygni Empire: there was only fuel for one Terran star cruiser, yet it sufficiently powered eight!

#hardshippost #agreatmiraclehappenedthere #Hannukah


	251. 12-11-20

12-11

It's the second night of Hannukah, and we're spinning the dreidel. Of course, the Junior Attaché was always a bit overcompetitive. With two of them around, the gambling's gotten downright cutthroat.

#hardship #justagame? #gimmethegelt!


	252. 12-12-20

12-12

We fed this question into our embassy MULTIVAC: "How many latkes are too many?" The machine pondered, smoked, then exploded.

Apparently, it can't count that high…

#harshippost #whatisinfinity


	253. 12-14-20

12-14

On the fifth day of Hanukkah, Grampa came by, eager to fix all of our broken furniture. A bit TOO eager -- I don't think we're going to need 1000 nails… or the fusion powered nail driver…

#hardshippost #beprepared


	254. 12-15-20

12-15

It's the sixth day of Hanukkah, and everyone has gotten into the holiday spirit. If the embassy staff wasn't made up entirely of Jews when it got here, it certainly is now!

#hardshippost #kipotforeveryone #notajewbutjewish


	255. 12-16-20

12-16

We are celebrating the seventh night of Hanukkah by reenacting the Terran Battle of the Bulge, when brave Joes (and Schlo's) turned back the rampaging Nazis.

#hardshippost #nuts


	256. 12-18-20

12-18

It was the last night of Hanukkah, and we were three candles short! But then...we checked the mail, and no fooling, there was a package of three candles so we could complete the ceremony.

#hardshippost #anothergreatmiracle #thanksrabbigrampa


	257. 12-19-20

12-19

Going a little stir crazy, we thought we might take a little trip. After all, the Crown Plague had to have settled down by now, right?

Then we encountered the sirens, hover ambulances, and hospital No Vacancy signs.

#hardshippost #noplacelikehome #besafe


	258. 12-20-20

12-20

The Vice Consul has decided to ensure we have supplies for the winter by making a very large batch of pumpkin bread. I applaud her resourcefulness, but we now are out of raisins.

We had five crates.

#hardshippost #shelikesraisinsinherpumpkinbread


	259. 12-21-20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, Eggplant baby Karl Marx DOES have a butt."

12-21

Grampa came over today and we cooked gingerbread for hours. We thought of making a spaceship or a starbase or a model of the Mars colony. Instead we just made a house.

A very. Big. House.

#hardshippost #homesweethome #weshouldchargerent


	260. 12-22-20

12-22-20

The Vice Consul spent all day making cookies! Strangely, no matter how many she baked, she never had more than a sheet of them. Almost as if they were mysteriously disappearing…

#hardshippost #itsaconspiracy!


	261. 12-23-20

12-23-20

The new gingerbread house has been decorated, and the eggplant babies are absolutely thrilled. Well, most of them, anyway. One picky type says the feng shui is off.

#hardshippost #everyonesacritic


	262. 12-24-20

12-24-20

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the embassy, not a creature was stirring… except for the Anshi… who ate all the milk and cookies we left out for Santa.

#hardshippost #ohwell #seasonsgreetings


	263. 12-25-20

12-25-20

Through plague, hardship, and economic slump, we've still managed to have a Merry Christmas here on A. Cen IV. In the end, it's all about family, remote or in person, found or blood.

#hardshippost #HAPPYHOLIDAYS


	264. 12-26-20

12-26-20

One of our friends at a nearby embassy just got the vaccine for Crown Plague! The Junior Attaché was so excited, she almost ran outside. She stopped herself, though -- it's not yet safe out there...

#hardshippost #hopeatlast


	265. 12-27-20

12-27-20

The area just got hit by a massive hail storm! Scary, but at least it keeps people from going outside to spread the plague. 

It's also putting out the meteor fires quite nicely.

#hardshippost #countyourblessings


	266. 12-28-20

12-29-20

The embassy got a visit from Jonathan, the intrepid space archaeologist. He always has great stories and he even left us a gift, a mysterious glowing box from Altair 7.

We're kind of afraid to open it.

#hardshippost #somethingsmanwasnotmeanttoknow


	267. 12-31-20

12-31-20

New Year's Eve! It's been a rough year, and now it's time to party. Our first resolution -- to dance through the night and onwards until the sun sets on New Year's Day!

#hardshippost #nonstop24hours


	268. 1-01-21

1-1-21

When we resolved to dance until sunset on New Year's Day, we forgot that Alpha Centauri has TWO suns.

We are very tired…

#hardshippost #nonstop240hours


	269. 1-01-21

1-2-21

For entertainment, we pulled out some old celluloid cinema tapes from centuries past. One "reel" of "Flash Gordon" serials caught our imagination. Maybe a bit too much…

#hardshippost #checktheangularvectorofhtemoon!


	270. 1-03-21

1-3-21

Our curiosity finally got the better of us and we opened the box that Jonathan, the space archaeologist, gave us. Inside it was… another box.

Covered in ancient script. And pulsating.

Dare we go on?

#hardshippost #daredare


	271. 1-04-21

1-4-21

Winter break is over! Time for school, work, chores, accounting, bills, planning virtual meetings, coordinating staff, scheduling trade deals, managing cargoes, sending reports…

Hmm. Maybe I'll just take a nap first.

#hardshippost #priorities #begoodtoyourself


	272. 1-05-21

1-5-21

The Junior Attaché took pity on a tiny potato and nursed it with great care until, finally, little shoots erupted. She placed the little spud in the garden and went to sleep.

This morning, IT WAS GONE!

#hardshippost #eaten? #likeahalloweenpumpkin


	273. 1-06-21

1-6-21

What a relaxing, peaceful day. Complete serenity. Absolutely nothing happened. Nothing at all to cause concern. Everything's fine.

As long as we don't look out the window.

#hardshippost #hothail #masshysteria #iseenothing


	274. 1-07-21

1-7-21

After yesterday, we figured nothing in the box that Jonathan, the space archaeologist, gave us could be as bad as what went on outside. So first off, we translated the box's strange glyphs.

They say: "This side up" and "Do not bend"

#hardshippost #bighelp


	275. 1-09-21

1-9-21

More analysis showed that the box Jonathan gave us housed an artifact of a lost eggplant civilization! Unable to contain ourselves, we pushed the buttons on the box and jumped back.

The glow was now blinding. What had we unleashed?!

#hardshippost #abadidea?


	276. 1-10-21

1-10-21

At last, the lost artifact of the eggplant people was revealed! We blinked away the dazzle spots and there, glittering gold, was the artifact. I reached into the box, pulled it out, eyes wide…

It's...an eggbeater.

#hardshippost #makessense #bitofaletdown


	277. 1-11-21

1-11-21

The Junior Attaché has been hard at work trying to model A. Cen. IV's Van Allen Belts for a school project. Even with two of her, the math is starting to fry her brain.

I can see the smoke…

#hardshippost #abadsign #areyouok?


	278. 1-12-21

1-12-21

We finally got the Junior Attaché(s) away from her (their) work, and the smoke is dissipating. Sometimes, all one needs is a good day off. 

The trick is to keep her from getting distracted by other projects…

#hardshippost #timetowriteabook!


	279. 1-13-21

1-13-21

The Junior Attaché is very excited. On the latest shipment from Earth, we got an ancient and rare physical recording of the 20th Century's biggest idol, Tony Randall.

Problem: one record, two Attachés.

#hardshippost #archrivals #mefirst 


	280. 1-14-21

1-14-21

Woke up in the middle of the night curled up next to something warm and round, reminiscent of my old cat, Sammy. I smiled. It smelled vaguely like... potato?!

I snapped on the light, and it squinted its many eyes at me in surprise...

#hardshippost #prodigalspud


	281. 1-15-21

1-15-21

The Junior Attaché(s) visited the neighbor embassy, but bad luck followed her: she tried to catch a rat, but slapped her friend, knocked her pizza to the floor, and nearly set the building on fire.

We sure dodged a bullet with her gone!

#hardshippost #troubletwins


	282. 1-16-21

1-16-21

The importance of significant digits: at the neighboring embassy, they wanted a spaghetti and meatballs dinner to feed three. They accidentally ordered one that feeds thirty.

They're not letting it go to waste, though…

#hardshippost #matterofpride


	283. 1-17-21

1-17-21

No sooner had the Junior Attaché returned, than we suited up to visit the local Terran record store. If eyes can be bigger than stomachs, then our ears are bigger than our shelves.

100 records is a LOT!

#hardshippost #timetofrug #johnnyMATHIS?!


	284. 1-18-21

1-18-21

Anshy the Felid staffer is hungry, and she keeps trying to get in the embassy without completing Crown Plague decontamination. She is really hard to stop in her tiny winter form. Thank goodness for the airlock.

#hardshippost #no! #badkitty!


	285. 1-19-21

1-19-21

Massive winds are scouring the planet again. The walking trees weren't very happy with the typhoon, so we let them ride it out in the embassy.

This time, our staff helped put their foliage back in order.

#hardshippost #terranbeautysalon


	286. 1-20-21

1-20-21

While the trees all enjoyed getting their leaves did, I've determined that my own mane shall remain untrimmed for the duration. I like the way it looks.

The forest seem to agree…

#hardshippost #helloladies


	287. 1-21-21

1-21-21

The recent rainstorms flooded our rumpus room, ruining our records shelves, so we ordered new ones. They looked great in the catalog, but the instructions seem to be in Tau Cetian.

Even Oreon can't figure them out.

#hardshippost #heptnutscrews?


	288. 1-22-21

1-22-21

The Junior Attaché had to go to the local depository to pick up textbooks for her correspondence course. This involved dodging plague-ridden Centaurs, flaming meteors, and wandering tree herds.

Luckily, she's quite the acrobat.

#hardshippost #greatestofease


	289. 1-23-21

1-23-21

The Vice Consul received an urgent message from home: turns out she is the scion of a powerful noble family, heir to a vast fortune. It came with a crown, a seal, and Letters of Patent.  
The staff is already calling her Your Majesty.

#hardshippost #hailtothequeen


	290. 1-24-21

1-24-21

We just got another message from Earth along with an electronic check. The Vice Consul did, indeed, inherit a vast fortune. However, after taxes, all that's left is $350.

Barely enough to buy a mule. Oh well.

#hardshippost #easycomeeasygo


	291. 1-25-21

1-25-21 

Anshi the Felid staffer is getting clever about stealing my seat. Before, she'd jump on it when she heard me coming. Now she just enlists aid to literally steal my seat.

I need to do something about those eggplant babies.

#hardshippost #ettufrute?


	292. 1-26-21

1-26-21

The Junior Attachés have been seduced by Tiny Potato's cuteness. We can't get them to do their duties, their chores, or their school work. How can we break this spell?

#hardshippost #motherhood? #starchravingmad


	293. 1-28-21

1-28-21

The staff have found microspools containing the complete works of the archaic Terran fantasy author, Robert E. Howard. It may have gone a bit to their heads -- all the swords, spells, and spelunking is getting pretty dangerous!

#hardshippost #Cromhelpus


	294. 1-29-21

1-29-21

Now that it's winter, and since we can't go outside, we decided to turn up the refrigeration and turn the embassy into a miniature ice rink!

A little too miniature -- we keep running into the walls…

#hardshippost #coldcomfort #icekaput


	295. 1-30-21

1-30-21

Winter is truly here, and we have every modern heating technology at our disposal: fission reactors, fusion pods, Venusian radiators, laser ovens…

But in the end, nothing beats the crackle of a fire (using synthetic logs, of course…)

#hardshippost #savethetrees


	296. 1-31-21

1-31-21

Oh no! Just after two of our diplomatic corps friends arrived for a visit, we found the cold, empty husk of Oreon's body on the library floor. Who could have done the dastardly deed?!

The game is afoot…

#hardshippost #dialemforembassymurder #anyonegotaclue


	297. 2-01-21

2-01-21

Our amateur detectives have left no stone unturned to determine who murdered our Herpid staffer, Oreon. No suspects have been found, but there's a likely weapon.

The shape was a dead giveaway. Who knew a pool noodle could be so deadly?

#hardshippost #whackwhack


	298. 2-02-21

2-02-21

In the midst of our murder investigation, a sudden exigency arose that demanded we make an immediate pause and focus our attention elsewhere:

One of the Junior Attachés found a spool of a Tony Randall film we hadn't seen.

#hardshippost #priorities


	299. 2-04-21

2-04-21 

Day 4 of the murder investigation and the accusations are flying: Junior Attaché accusing Junior Attaché. Vice Consul accusing me. Eggplant Karl Marx accusing the bourgeoisie.

We better find the culprit quick!

#hardshippost #nobodytrustsanybodynow #allverytired


	300. 2-05-21

2-05-21

Tonight the tension got to be too much and we came to blows. Furniture broken, computer parts busted, food thrown, bruises made…

And then Oreon popped in to retrieve his shed.

Boy is my face red. And black. And blue.

#hardshippost #servesusright


	301. 2-6-21

2-06-21

Our Felid staffer, Anshi, has shrunk enough in the Centauri winter to get fully inside the food storage bin. Unfortunately, she has now eaten enough to completely fill the food storage bin.

Cats really are liquids.

#hardshippost #stupidkitty


	302. 2-07-21

2-07-21

The interstellar football championships have really gotten too bloody. In the old days, "Kill the other team!" was just an expression…

#hardshippost #buccaneers #chiefs #suddendeath #forreal 


	303. 2-08-21

2-08-21 

Quarantining indoors means we're safe from the Crown Plague. But being inside typing all day is a hazard to one's health, too. And there's only so much Heal-Foam one can spray around one's elbows…

#hardshippost #deskjobdangers #ouch


	304. 2-09-21

2-09-21

Anshi has been stuck in the storage bin for days. We thought she'd slim out, but it's not a fast enough process. Then I remembered that cold shrinks Felids.

I put the bin in a bucket of ice. 

#hardshippost #whatcouldgowrong?


	305. 2-10-21

2-10-21

Well, we managed to get Anshi out of the storage bin thanks to the ice I dunked it in. However, we've discovered that the shrinking properties of cold on her species are localized.

90% of the Felid's mass is now in her head.

#hardshippost #andyetstillamoron


	306. 2-11-21

2-11-21

The clock struck midnight; we shuddered awake. We've been in the embassy so long, we can't even remember what the day feels like. I'm not sure the sun even…exists...in this place.

Can you tell me the way to Shell Beach?

#hardshippost #taketheexpress #darkcity


	307. 2-12-21

2-12-21

It's a little early for spring cleaning, but our calendar's been off for a while. The Junior Attaché(s) decided to tidy the embassy, stem to stern, really turning the place upside down.

Literally.

It wasn't a good idea.

#hardshippost #spicandspanceilings


	308. 2-13-21

2-13-21

The Junior Attaché(s) took a computerized business course squeezing a virtual 50-year career into a night's experience. 

They've now presented plans to streamline production, increase profits, and acquire competitors.

...we're an embassy.

#hardshippost #oops


	309. 2-14-21

2-14-21

It's Valentine's Day! Word got around that there are now TWO eligible bachelorettes at the embassy so all the suitors from nearby facilities have come a courtin'.

Of course, with their suits on, it's hard to tell the cute ones…

#hardshippost #eeniemeenie


	310. 2-15-21

2-15-21

Grampa took the Junior Attaché(s) up the tallest Centauri mountain. Higher and higher through the blizzard they trudged. When the clouds cleared, they were at the peak.

Touching the peak of another mountain, pointing down!

#hardshippost #toofar #raggedastronauts


	311. 2-16-21

2-16-21

The recent rains have brought out the Centauri banana slugs. And it looks like something in the embassy's attracting them. They're everywhere! And they're overrunning the complex!

Very slowly…

#hardshippost #somehowlessscary #takeyourtimewhydon'tyou


	312. 2-17-21

2-17-21

The latest rains have once again had unpredictable effects on the tomatoes. They've now grown 50 meter vines completely surrounding the embassy. We're trapped inside! 

It keeps the banana slugs out, at least.

#hardshippost #mixedblessings #stuckhereanyway


	313. 2-18-21

2-18-21

We dug deep into the vault for tonight's shut-in entertainment: a special starring Carol Channing and her friends. It may have influenced our subsequent attire somewhat…

#hardshippost #costumechange #morecostumechanges #stillmorecostumechanges #andjewelery


	314. 2-19-21

2-19-21

The Junior Attaché(s) headed off to the neighboring embassy for the weekend. I was looking forward to a birthday date with the Vice Consul, but she has an all-Federation virtual conference.

I guess it's chess with Karl Marx again.

#hardshippost #themassesalwayswin


	315. 2-21-21

2-21-21

It's the eighth anniversary of my 39th birthday, and I'm still stuck in the embassy thanks to the Crown Plague. But I have to say, I do have the best staff a Consul could ask for…

#hardshippost #surprise! #happybirthdaytome


	316. 2-22-21

2-22-21

I've been trying to reach EMBASSIVAC remotely all day. The phone-line is good, my terminal lights up, but I can't seem to connect. I've tested everything!

Ah. Bugs in the system. Actual Centauri bugs. In the system.

#hardshippost #ewww #DDTtime


	317. 2-23-21

2-23-21

Bugs eradicated, or so I thought. Now the terminal won't power up at all! And there's an intermittent leak in our plumbing that's flooded the kitchen. I sense a plot. A Communist plot.

I have a suspect…

#hardshippost #eggplantsoftheworldunite #tooobvious?


	318. 2-24-21

2-24-21

Anshi's efficacy as a detective tracking down the embassy saboteur was hampered by her mismatched proportions. So we encased her from the neck down in a steam chamber.

The results are less than ideal.

#hardshippost #wherearemyfeet


	319. 2-26-21

2-26-21

We couldn't fix Anshi's head the way we fixed her body -- she'd suffocate! We had to find a way to get heat IN her head rather than around it.

Then we remembered all the horseradish left over from Passover…

#hardshippost #hotstuff #400yearsofslavery


	320. 2-27-21

2-27-21

Oh no! The mad saboteur strikes again! This time, the dastard snatched away the baby potato right under the noses of the Junior Attachés!

It's a good thing Anshi is back on the case…

#hardshippost #spudnapped 


	321. 2-28-21

2-28-21

Anshi caught a flash out of the corner of her eye as the dastard criminal attempted the next sabotage. She pounced with Felid speed, tackling the miscreant.

But when we focused the light, the revealed identity astounded…

#hardshippost #nogoodnik #eviltwin


End file.
